Sometimes the feeling of impatience weighs heavily in our lives. Waiting for results of medical tests can be like walking around with ankle weights. When we have a concern about a symptom, and we are waiting to hear back from the doctor, it can feel like standing on the edge of a cliff.
Uncertainty makes most of us feel uncomfortable. Yet, there is an irony here, because in the midst of uncertainty, there is still the possibility of good news. For instance, not knowing if we need to have surgery or chemo or other treatment can actually feel worse than knowing we have to. However, during the period of not knowing, aren’t we still free of the burden of the future? Isn’t it really a time of grace?
I used to think that if I could imagine all the worst scenarios, I would be prepared for the worst possible news. This created the illusion that I had some control in a powerless situation. I try not to do that anymore; I don’t think I need to plan for the worst medical outcome like preparing for an earthquake or hurricane. The best way to get ready for a medical problem is to embrace health today, and for me, that means by staying in peace and out of worry.
If I want control in a powerless situation, it all comes down to this: there is no sweeter freedom than appreciating life, no matter what.