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Health Humor

My body needs more humor. My last post was so heavy that I thought my readers might need antidepressants in order to survive my blog. Because it is never too late to celebrate April Fools’ Day, I thought we needed some health-restoring levity to elevate our endorphins.

The following humorous quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. These are from a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D. for the Journal of Court Reporting and have been reprinted at several Internet sites and magazines.

  • By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
  • The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
  • She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  • The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  • Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
  • I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
  • The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
  • The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
  • Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  • The patient refused an autopsy.
  • When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

So, the next time your eyes roll around the room, pick up them up and keep laughing.

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